I have strings today.. strings of words running merrily through the gray matter.. so I'm gonna run with em and see what happens.
Recession, depression, repression of expression. Reaction, retraction, distraction and attraction. Instigate, investigate, irritate and enervate. Emotion, devotion, explosion and erosion. Objection, correction, abolition and absorption. Segregation, degradation, integration and elation.
Hmmm.. I don't really know where all this is going. It seems that one word leads into the next. Like you start with one and move on through the list as a natural progression. Lawd amighty I'm full of 'shuns' today.
For some reason it brings to (my mind anyway) mind the steps to conquering and/or learning to live with emotional illnesses like Clinical Depression. A serious bout of depression is almost always followed by a prolonged period of anxiety. You start at rock bottom and find the tools to start rebuilding your life. Then, just when it seems like you are making headway, the disease takes control and starts tearing your world apart at an alarming rate. Once you realize what the issue is, then you begin the process of learning to live with the issue in order that you get your life back on track (assuming you had a track in the first place, of course).
The worst thing about depression and anxiety is that it's cyclical. You never really control the beast, you just learn to deal with life around it. All but one of the medications I've ever been prescribed for it make me suicidal. I don't believe in suicide.. figure it's just a way to start over and learn the same lessons til you get it right. No thanks, once is plenty. I want the answers so that I never have to deal with the same thing again.
In my case, the depression is anxiety driven. I really do think so. I think that GAD overwhelms your intellect to the point where depression can sink it's yellow fangs deeply into your psyche. The only medication I've had so far that controlled the GAD was Valium, and the docs don't like to prescribe it because of it's addictive properties and it's potential for misuse. For a while, magnolia bark was a good way to control it.. but I built up an immunity to it over a period of time.
If anyone has all the answers, I wish they would stop by my blog and enlighten me.
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